Calm Waters
by Kaori no Tenshi
Summary: NejiHina. Neji has always hated Hinata ever since his father died but now his emotions seem to be overflowing. Is the reason really his anger or is there something more to it than that? ratings might go up later
1. Default Chapter

**Calm Waters**

**Standard Disclaimers Apply**

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**A/N: **Hi! This is my first Naruto fanfic so please be nice! The pairing is NejiHina because I noticed that there aren't a lot of them out there. Yes, I know it would be sort of like incest but its just fan fiction…and also if you look at the Hyuuga family and their obsession with bloodline, it kind of makes sense in a way. I think they used to marry cousins tooin the old days in Englandso they could keep their bloodlines pure and the wealth within the family...anywayNeji and Hinataare super cute and interesting to write together! This is for Cookie6!

**PS: **If you must flame me, flame me about my writing style and not me personally. I'll probably bawl for a week if you do! LOL! Okay, on with the fic!

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**Chapter One: **

She was always silent, always cowering before people as if she were afraid. Why was she so afraid? It was because she cared so much; too much, in fact.

Neji had always known that.

Even when they were children, Hinata's capacity to care and love, far exceeded what was normal.

It was because of that, because she _cared _what other people thought of her, that she was always scared.

Scared of disappointing them.

Scared of hurting them.

Scared of making them mad.

Scared that her existence somehow caused them trouble.

Scared that the breath she took she somehow stole from others.

Why did she even care so much?

Damn her!

She was the weakest person he'd ever seen. It was so easy to hurt her, so easy to mark her and make her bleed.

It was so easy to make her cry.

But no matter what he did…why did she always have to get up and keep on smiling at him?

Why did she always call him niichan and ask after his health?

He tried so hard to push her away and to make her hate him just as much as he hated her and her entire Main House family.

If she did learn to hate him, then it would be all right for him to hate her.

He wouldn't have to feel this pang of guilt spike through his chest every time she would tremble in front of him, crushed from the harsh words he'd released upon her.

Crushed but never broken.

Bowed, bent…but she never breaks.

She never did.

She never learned to hate him.

Every mean thing he told her, she accepted with a bowed head and shoulder hunched together as if she was trying to make herself smaller. Sometimes he thought that she would even willingly erase herself from existence if it would make someone else happy.

She was a Hyuuga damn it!

A Hyuuga did not bow to anyone!

How unfair it was that such a weakling was born into the main family and treated with honors while he, Neji Hyuuga called genius, had to bear the stupid mark on his forehead that proclaimed to the world that he was lesser?

That he was nothing but a slave, a bird in a cage whose only purpose in being born was to die for her safety.

He couldn't even choose to die just for himself.

"N-Neji-niichan…"

Neji turned with narrowed eyes as he glared at Hinata.

"I…I…"

"Straighten out your words before you come talking to me. You're wasting my time," he said harshly as he turned to go.

A small hand reached out and her tiny fingers clenched around the fabric of his shirt, detaining him.

A long-suffering sigh escaped his normally silent lips. Ever since the Chuunin exams, he had tried to be just a little nicer to her because of his father's words. Because he remembered what it was that he had promised so long ago.

_I will protect her with my life._

But to protect something, someone, you first had to see it as worth protecting.

He saw Hinata as useless.

Fragile.

Weak.

A thing to be despised.

Sometimes he was repelled by his attitude towards her. Sometimes when he looked into the mirror and into his eyes, he no longer recognized the person he sees staring back at him. Where was the little boy who loved his cousin so much, he cried every time her father hurt her?

Where was the little boy who loved his cousin so much he'd asked his father if they could adopt her and she could be his imouto (little sister) so that she no longer lived in a house where the people always hurt her and made her cry?

And then he would see the seal on his forehead and he would remember all the reasons he had to hate her.

"Neji-niichan…"

"How many times do I have to tell you that I'm not your brother?" Neji turns towards her, his arms crossed. Hinata's hand is dislodged from its hold on his shirt and it falls helplessly to her side. She brings it trembling to her chest as if cradling it.

Her eyes are still downcast, still looking down at the floor as if the answers to life's questions could somehow be found there.

Pale skin with the incandescent sheen of perfect white pearls, eyes that looked to the world with an otherworldly clarity that captivated and repulsed with their beauty and power, hair a deep black that shone almost blue. If described they could be described the same, the only difference was that Neji was taller and bigger than Hinata, his hair longer.

But there were so many subtle differences.

Neji's countenance demanded attention, when he walked into a room you felt your eyes just drawn towards him for no reason at all or for perhaps the simplest reason of all.

He was beautiful, captivating.

And Hinata…it was so very easy to over-look her. To dismiss her as plain and shy as a mouse…and yet…once people got past that painfully shy barrier she kept around her to insulate herself…she was beautiful in her own way.

She was light.

Warm and gentle sunlight that was there to guide you through even the darkest moments of your life: subtle, barely noticeable but shining with warmth.

Neji knew that those friends of hers, that dog boy and the one with those bugs…they would willingly give up their life for Hinata.

Those two were both from annoyingly closed clans who never trusted outsiders very much…and yet shy Hinata who was just a little mouse of a girl, was able to get through to them and earn their loyalty and trust.

It was because she gave so much of herself first.

"What do you want Hinata-sama?" Neji gritted out as he glared at her. Why was he so angry with her all of a sudden? He wondered what was wrong with him. This rage he was feeling was nothing like the normal amount of hatred he nursed in his heart.

This was altogether different.

It was a blazing fire that consumed him, obliterating everything in its path and making him want to reach out, grab her arms and break her bones.

He took a step back, his eyes widening in surprise at the realization that his hands were trembling.

He wanted to _break_ her.

"Neji-niichan?" Hinata looked up from the ground to peer at him worriedly. She took a step forward again, a hand held out so she could see if he was developing a fever. Before her palm made contact with his skin, his hand captured her wrist and wrenched her forward so that she fell against him.

His heart was beating so fast against her cheek and he felt too warm. "What's wrong niichan?" she asked as calmly as she could, trying to sound soothing despite the fear that was racing in her veins.

Neji bent his head, leaning closer to her until his forehead was against the top of her head, so close he could smell her scent. Vanilla, herbs and something so clean and clear it was surely Hinata's goodness registering in his senses. "Why?"

"W-why w-w-what, Neji-niichan?" Hinata asked, her eyes huge and round, but she did not move.

"Why do I hate you so much?" he asked harshly as his grip on her tightened, squeezing her skin painfully.

Hinata let out a small gasp, but that was all. She didn't move from him or push him away or try to get away from him.

She simply endured.

"Why don't you try and get away? Call out…someone will come and save you," he said harshly, his breathing labored for no reason. He thrust her body away from him and looked down at her bowed head. She was so small, so limp.

So _nothing._

"Call out for help Hinata-sama."

Hinata shook her head.

"Why?" his grip tightened and twisted.

Hinata could feel that her bones were close to popping but she didn't cry out.

"Answer me!"

She took a deep breath and tried to speak but the pain was too much and a whimper escaped her lips.

Neji blinked and looked down at his hands. His hold on her was too tight, the skin around where he gripped her was already white and he knew when he released her it would become red.

Tomorrow it would be a dark bruise.

He released her pushing her away and down on the ground. "Why?" he spat out.

Why are you scared?

Why are you weak?

Why don't you run?

Cry out!

Ask for help!

HATE ME!

"I'm sorry Neji-niichan…" Hinata said as she stayed on the ground, only sitting up to cup her arms that were surely throbbing from his abuse.

He waited for her to continue but she was silent and trembling and weak. After a long moment, he felt disgust at her and himself fill him to the brim so he turned and walked away. "What the fuck are you even sorry for?" he found himself asking.

He thought he was out of earshot.

"Being born."

It came so softly, he barely registered it.

He didn't halt his steps although a piece of his heart broke.

_Hinata..._

(TBC)

**A/N: **There you have it. First chapter. Do you guys still want me to continue? Please review, I'm not very confident about my ability to write Naruto fics yet so any support you can give is fine! Thanks so much and don't worry, the fic will become more clear and nicer and sweeter as it progresses. (I Hope…) :-P


	2. 02

**Calm Waters**

**Standard Disclaimers Apply**

* * *

A/N: Hi! This is my first Naruto fanfic so please be nice! The pairing is NejiHina because I noticed that there aren't a lot of them out there. Yes, I know it would be sort of like incest but its just fan fiction…and also if you look at the Hyuuga family and their obsession with bloodline, it kind of makes sense in a way. Besides they are super cute and interesting to write together! This is for Cookie6!

PS: If you must flame me, flame me about my writing style and not me personally. I'll probably bawl for a week if you do! LOL! Thank you for all the reviews! I'm glad you like it! Thanks for the support! Hopefully, this chapter will not disappoint.

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**Chapter Two:**

The training grounds were empty except for one small figure.

She was tiny, petite and slender, her hair cut short. It was obvious she was intent on her training but her movements, although naturally graceful, still lacked the precision and strength of a true ninja.

Her movements seem more a dance than anything else, even though every time she would hit the target, bits of bark would fly off at the impact of her hands.

After charging into a tree, delivering a vicious kick and somersaulting backwards to land on her feet, the figure stopped, panting as she slowly crumpled to the ground, her stamina drained, her energy gone.

Hinata panted harshly, hearing the wild beating of her heart and the roar of her blood singing in her ears.

She wanted so hard to be strong and she trained so hard to be better.

She would never be the strongest but that had never been her goal. She knew no matter what she did, there was always someone who was going to be stronger than her.

Her goal had started out as a desire to be accepted by her family.

To be loved and deemed worth of the name Hyuuga.

But that was before.

Now, all she wanted was to be strong for her own sake.

To prove to herself that she was not weak.

Hiashi Hyuuga would never see her as anything less that a disappointment. Hanabi was the only one he saw now and a small part of Hinata sometimes felt relieved that she no longer had to try and live up to her father's impossible standards. She was very proud of her sister, Hanabi.

Hanabi who was younger, smaller and yet so much stronger than Hinata herself.

How embarrassing, her father had spat at her, as she stared down at the floor that day Hanabi had beaten her.

Hinata had looked up and seen scorn and disappointment in his eyes.

And yes, hatred.

Hatred because of all the people in the world to be born weak and useless, why did it have to be her?

His daughter.

Hinata looked down at her hands.

They were small.

She was weak.

She touched the bruises on her arms. It had been almost a week since cousin Neji had spoken to her last, but the marks he had left on her were still there, the eggplant color of the bruise a shocking contrast against her pale white skin.

She bit her lip.

He'd wanted her to ask for help…but if their relatives from the main house saw him hurting her…would they even do anything?

Hinata knew no one in her family cared for her.

Not really.

No one cared for her except her cousin Neji.

But that was when they were younger.

Time passed and hey both grew up and now he hated her too.

She had Shino and Kiba, Akameru and Kurenai-sensei but it wasn't the same.

Hinata had always wanted Neji's approval.

She'd always wanted to see him smile at her again like he used to.

Why hadn't she cried out when he'd hurt her?

Because she felt like it was her due.

All the hatred her released on her, all the harsh words and cold glares…she deserved them.

Her family hurt him, his father died because of her, she felt as if whatever he did to her was her due.

It was her penance for taking away everything that was important to him.

_If I could change it all I would._

_If I could disappear I wouldn't even think twice about it_

_Just so you would smile again_

_Just so you can be free _

She could never hurt him even though he made her so mad sometimes because of what he said about her.

There was a brief time when she hated him back, in her own quiet way, because of all the mean things he'd said and done to her.

At the Chuunin exams when she had gotten up again and again and kept on fighting even though he was slowly crushing her physically, she had seen the pain in his eyes even though he had tried to hide it.

He was strong…but like her, he was hurting as well.

And he was hurting because of her.

Because she had been born and she was weak and because of her, his father had died…

"I'm so sorry…" she whispered to the ground. She had tried so hard to tell him those words. To apologize for all the things he had been through and overcome.

She had wanted to say the words but had found her throat closed up as the guilt and sorrow overwhelmed her.

The memories of her Neji-niisan when they had been younger had flooded through her mind.

He was always there to protect her and to smile at her.

Every after her training session with her father, a young Hinata would be laying on the ground bleeding and breathing hard and wondering why she could have been born into a family who didn't put so much stock in strength.

She would be fighting tears and losing.

And he would come with a smile and help her up, clean her up…and he would make her smile because he was always smiling.

Hinata hadn't known that inside, he was also going through pain himself.

She lifted a hand to her forehead. What would it feel like to be branded with the seal? If she could trade places with Neji, she would have in a heartbeat. He deserved so much better.

"I'm so selfish…always thinking how poor and sorry and weak I am…but I never took the time to notice you were hurt to, did I Neji-niisan?"

There was a time when he would smile for her and just for her, just so she would smile back at him.

Hinata wanted to smile at him, smile just for him, just so he would smile back at her.

She wanted to see it again, his special smile.

His smile for her.

_Neji…_

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A/N: Any thoughts? I'm sorry if this sucked. I'll try to do better next time…or do you guys think I've done enough damage and should just stop before this fic gets any worse? (Grins sheepishly) please review! 


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